Arab Cinderella: A Life Poem

By Laila Alawa*

I always felt

as though my life, my being, my very self

were forevermore saddled with the

very expectations of

generations before me,

dusty individuals, their fervent whispers carrying,

moving, traveling,

across centuries of near-still air,

air rippled only with the occasional revolution,

scented softly with rosewater and hot Arabic coffee,

that their unfulfilled wishes, needs and every desire,

were now mine,

like a sort of modern-day Cinderella wish,

upon turning sixteen years of age, a welcome to the

world of

a dissatisfied life,

one in which you try your very hardest but

never get anywhere,

where you put your very best in,

but only the worst comes out,

a tired life.

It was one bestowed upon me,

an one I tried to shake off,

a cloak of heavy, dull satin,

pinned tight about my neck,

stranglehold.

Countless attempts. So much of my

being put in to making that cloak

shine, making it glow,

failed efforts heavy with the

stench of misintention,

a slew of sins.

Dissatisfaction. I began to

feel uncomfortable,

tears springing to my eyes as I contemplated

the heavy, deep fastenings of the cloak, only

unfastened through true lawlessness or truthful

intention.

I stumbled about with the heavy cloak

until one day

one morning,

fresh, calm and cool, the birds alight with their trills,

I faced towards the Kaabah and

felt the true cool of the deen

surrounding me and

transforming the cloak of dull expectations into

one of shining possibilities,

open and airy and effervescent

a garb of intentions, open worlds

a refuge of Islam.

______________

You can usually find Laila engaged in a deep conversation with a stranger, or nursing a cup of Earl Grey tea with three teaspoons of sugar. She graduated from Wellesley College in 2012 and currently works at Princeton University, conducting a study on Muslim American perceptions of belonging and community within the greater American diaspora. Laila funnels her love for jewelry making into her own business and works to bettering the Muslim American experience for both Muslims and America at large. She heads a faith anthology project for Muslim American women called Coming of Faith.